Well, crap.

Last time I wrote I was feeling positive and happy and optimistic. That night I went home and was running up and down the stairs, convincing my spouse to take Sandwiches out for a walk with me. Coming down at the second to last step I missed a stair, rolled my ankle and fell on the floor. The loud popping noise was horrific, and I was so in pain that the wind was absolutely knocked out of me. It hurt too much to cry. I just lay there, trying to catch my breath and seeing stars while Toby barraged me with questions. Finally, I got out the words to tell him to be quiet for a minute (this situation has happened before!) and about ten minutes later I could talk again but was shaking and maybe going into shock. I was really against going to the emergency room, but after being unable to move for about 45 minutes, he finally convinced me that we needed to go.

At least we know the route to the hospital!

We waited about an hour in the ER, where I was creeped out by the screaming and yelling and germs abounding. I really, really didn’t want to be there at all. Eventually they talked me into doing x-rays, which I was initially vehemently against. Radiation is bad for babies – that much I know! But the tech, a new dad, said that I’d probably been more exposed to radiation sitting in the waiting room that I would be when he covered me from head to toe in lead. X-rays confirmed a very bad sprain and after wrapping it up and teaching me to walk with crutches, we were on our way.

Well, shit.

The next day the pain was excruciating and the ankle was entirely purple and the size of a grapefruit. The day after the swelling went down to the size of a lemon, but the gross colour has remained. On top of never having walked in crutches before, my upper body strength and physical fitness aren’t at their peak, not to mention that the extra thirty pounds I’m carrying isn’t helping anyone. I lay around the house for two days feeling like crap, and against everyone’s better judgment I came in to work today.

I already feel horrible that I left my job terribly short-staffed for the past two days, not to mention that I just returned from a twelve day vacation and am on my last month before mat leave. It was torturous getting myself here today, but now that I’m here and not doing much moving, it’s actually not that bad. Plus, I just needed to get out of the house and so did Sandwiches.

I’m so frustrated with myself for not walking carefully down the stairs. There’s so much I need to be doing and obviously I’m doing nothing. I’ve had quite the pity party for myself the last few days, but now I’m working hard to snap out of it. Yeah, my ankle hurts but things could have been much, much worse and thankfully they are not.

For posterity

-Our baby shower was incredible; I can’t believe how many people came and partook and how many people this baby will have in her life. Everyone was so kind and generous and I’m still in disbelief about the presents everyone showered us with. I’m really not good in settings with lots of people and when I mentioned that to a friend who was there she said, “These are all the people who love your baby already!” and it sunk in that it’s all for her. I felt really lucky and thankful to everyone who was so kind and generous. Now, baby girl has four boxes of clothing, tons of toys, shoes, and everything else she could possibly need. So exciting!

-We purchased our stroller! We got the Mountain Buggy in black, along with the carry cot bassinet thing, and I have to admit it looks really, really cute. We walked out of the store and both pushed it around the parking lot for a while, making sure it looked good. It’s already set up and eagerly awaiting baby! I’m glad we got it set up already, as the new plastic is fairly stinky and I don’t really want her smelling that weird smell. Toby keeps asking to put Sandwiches in it, but I don’t know if he should really get too accustomed to acting more like a baby than he does now, since his time to step up and be a big brother is coming soon.

So, thanks to being literally showered with everyone’s kindness and generosity, this baby is good to go in terms of material things. She even has two Sophies, so she’s indeed a very lucky girl. Now I can’t wait to see her wearing all these cute little things and playing with her new toys. Not too long now!

32 Weeks

I’ve been away for a while, and I have so much to report! First of all, our baby girl is really readying herself to make her world debut. I’m certain she’s head-down, evidenced by the soreness I feel behind my ribs constantly. She weighs about 3.75 pounds and is 42 centimeters tall. She’s thinking and dreaming in there and probably has a ton of hair also! As for me, I’m feeling significantly crappier than I have all pregnancy. I’ve been running around boasting about how easy it’s all been, but all of a sudden the morning sickness has hit. Weird, hey? Apparently it’s not just a first trimester thing, which is made quite obvious by all my recent throwing up.

Coming soon: posts about our baby shower, prenatal class, and the babymoon!

This and that

A few things before I head off for a long time:

-Our last midwife appointment was great. Again, we got the better of the two options and she excelled at answering all of our questions. She even validated Toby’s questions and concerns about what footwear was appropriate to wear during delivery (wtf, right?) and assured us that everything is coming along nicely. Although baby’s heartbeat is really close to my belly button, the midwife is fairly certain that baby is already head down. This will be confirmed in the next appointment.

-This is my last day at work until September 27th! Hooray! For those who are counting, that brings my total days left of working down to 25! Amazing! Lately I’ve just been getting so bored and tired with being here all the time, and just feel like my time could be so much better spent elsewhere. Like, getting ready for our baby.

-Tomorrow is my birthday. I’m bringing in number 28 in exactly the way I want to. How lucky is that?

-Saturday is our prenatal class! So many baby things happening lately! I was super bummed yesterday because they sent me a quick email saying, “Class got cancelled, please reschedule.” I was fairly annoyed, because with someone who’s only here half the time such a thing is not so simple. I’d scheduled this particular date because we were both on vacation and it’s the only date I knew for certain that we’d be able to attend. Anyway, after much bitching and pleading, they squeezed us into an already-full class. In Delta. So, we have to drive an extra 45 minutes, but at least we’re getting our class in!

-Sunday I have my baby shower. I’m really not a baby shower person and can’t even remember the last time a party was had for something relating to me. Buuuut, it’s very important to some people, so I will make the best of it. At the very least, it’s a good opportunity to see people I haven’t seen for a while and that I will not see for a long time after having baby.

-I was just sitting here, bouncing on my computer chair, and in my pants found a chocolate covered peanut that I lost this morning. I ate it and it was delicious. Yup. This is my life.

-On Monday we’re off on our Babymoon – our last child-free vacation! I can’t even believe it! Even when our babies grow up and they stay with someone else so we can vacation alone for a few days, we’ll never be a childless couple ever again. It’s so baffling to think about. Anyway, for our last vacation we’re heading to Southern Washington to stay in a yurt for four nights. I’m so thrilled about a vacation with my loved ones. Sandwiches, especially, really loves doing things that are camping related because he thinks it’s pretty cool to be outside all the time.

So, that is life. Really great, I must admit. Have a happy September!

Touring

We went on our hospital tour last night, and suddenly, everything kind of clicked. It all started when we walked into the lobby of Lions Gate and Toby stage-whispered, “Sweetie! We’re in the wrong place – this is a support group for husbands with fat wives!” It only got better from there with the jokes (culminating with his new game called “Is that her husband or her father?”), and not even my usual DeathGlare was enough to silence him this time. About fifteen couples sat around a big conference table and were told about the minutiae of what will happen during labour: from where to park to what type of juice there is to the channels available on the TV. After, we walked around the Labour and Delivery unit, followed by a tour of the maternity ward. I touched the bed, the couch where the “primary support person” sleeps, looked into the bathroom and the shower, smiled at the nurses.

And oh my god, the whole thing just scared the hell out of me. My eyes kept getting all teary with nerves and it’s like everything just hit me at once. What have I been thinking about for the past eight months? Like, where has my brain been? Obviously, not on the fact that I’ll be having a real live baby really soon. I’ve thought about being a mom for as long as I knew the concept. Toby and I talked about children on our second month of dating. My whole life, this is something I’ve known I would do. And then last night, I’m all like, “Holy shit, this is fucking crazy!” All at once I realized that I’d go into that hospital, push out a baby, and then just a few hours later they would send us home with this baby. This real person. And then… what do we do? How does life go on from there? That’s not even going into the fact that soon after that I’ll be left alone to keep this whole baby alive and well and thriving. I kept saying, “I just can’t believe this is happening…” and apparently that’s a weird thing to be in disbelief about at this point.

I know I’ll calm down and that I’ll excel at this parenting thing, but right now… I’m truly in a state of disbelief.

Thirty week belly

Did you hear the one where the girl swallowed a seed and a watermelon grew in her tummy?

ThirtythirtyTHIRTY!

It’s the thirtieth week! Wow! This is the last week of the seventh month of pregnancy! While on one hand I feel like I’ve been pregnant for an eternity, a bit of my brain feels like this is all going by too quickly. This week finds baby weighing in at three pounds and is about 17 inches tall. She’ll slow down in gaining height right now and focus instead of gaining weight at about half a pound per week. She’s swimming around in about a liter of amniotic fluid, which will steadily decrease until that fateful day when she finds herself getting all dry and being evicted from my uterus. Her skin is getting increasingly smooth while her brain is developing all sorts of ridges and grooves where her knowledge and information is stored. I continue my life of constant heartburn and discomfort, but by now I’ve grown pretty used to it. Sandwiches seems to be increasing his excitement about meeting his baby sister: lately he smooshes his head against my belly and purrs. Maybe he can hear her?

It goes on...

This morning my dentist called to schedule a cleaning appointment. We set it for January and when she asked which day of the week I want I stumbled and said, “Any?” realizing that I won’t have an outside the house job by then. “How bizarre!” I thought. I’ll have a two-month old baby girl by then! And just like that, I’ll keep being pregnant, I’ll deliver my child, and then… life will just go on as usual. I know I won’t be able to wrap my head around it until she’s actually here.

Last night I read a book (because now that I don’t sleep anymore I’m using my time wisely by reading entire books at a time) called “Babyproofing Your Marriage” and it scared the hell out of me. Basically, it says to abandon all hope now. The book goes on and on about how there’s about to be a bomb dropped into our lives and that things will never be the same. It says to accept the fact that I’ll turn into an overbearing crazy bitch and that he’ll turn into an uncaring slob and that there’s absolutely nothing we can do to change that fact. Scary, huh? Enough to keep someone awake at night, I reckon. But when he comes home after being gone for a month and nuzzles his head against my tummy and goes, “Hello, baby girl…” it’s hard to think that anything could ever go wrong….

Twenty Nine

Hm, this one seems like a landmark. Last of the twenties. I picked up somewhere that at this point my daughter goes into her most intense phase of brain development. Her brain is growing in size and in connections and getting ready for all the heavy-duty thinking she’ll do as an academic. I’ve started taking a whole bunch of fish oil to aid in this development (gross burps, though). This week I’ll review the quadratic equation with her and then we’ll move onto Voltaire and civil rights. Just kidding – we’re only reading children’s books for now. But every little bit helps, I suppose! Another baffling milestone: I’ve been religiously going by the fruit-size chart from when she was a mere poppy-seed. Now, I’m sad to report that she’s moved on from eggplant to squash and we only have two fruits left to go! It seems like forever ago that I had a little plum, and look at how far we’ve come. She’s getting cramped in there, weighing in at 2.5 pounds this week. She’s hiccupping often, and squirming like crazy. Days like these, I’ll miss when she’s here.

Sandwiches says...

"Wow, my little sister sure is getting big!"

All good

I wish I had something fun and exciting to report, but really, I don’t. I’m lucky to be having such an easy and painless pregnancy. I’m happy that I have another week of work and then a one week vacation. I’m excited that the week after that is my 28th birthday and rather than having a midlife crisis I’m thrilled that life is exactly where it should be. Baby girl is kicking and somersaulting, and every morning I wake up and look at my belly and think, “Whoa… When did this happen?” and get excited about meeting her all over again.

Twenty eight week belly