My dearest baby Bowen,
What a month it's been! Just as I thought, everything is hugely different from the last time I wrote to you. We've changed and grown, and our world has shifted to accommodate our newest little family addition. Not only that, but somehow my days, weeks and months are blurring together, and somewhere along the way we lost a month. Like always, the days are long but the time is short - even though there's less time now I still want to make a big effort to continue your letters. Sometimes it sounds like the most difficult thing in the world to get to the computer at the end of the day, but I know when you read these letters back way in the distant future, it'll be such a neat thing to see what you were up to, my little monkey.
I don't know where to even begin! Your thirtieth month on earth began much like the others. We busied ourselves with fun and activities and books and movies and drawing and all the other things we like to do. You continue to love swimming and music, and also continue your recent aversion to staying at school on your own. The last few months you have been definitely having "mommy" time and been incredibly clingy to me, which is understandable with all the changes as of late. Things were all going along as usual, and then suddenly and expectedly, everything changed.
Your brother arrived in this world a little earlier than we expected, and along with a few more complications that were foreseen. We all had to step up to the occasion, but you, most of all were affected by the events. It was hard for you to be away from your mama for the week we were in hospital, and it was hard for me to watch you struggling with the newness of it all. On the bright side, however, it was also a wonderful learning and growing experience for us all. You got to spend time with your daddy, and see how much fun being with him can really be. You got to get closer to your grandma and other family members, and I think it opened your eyes to the fact that you actually don't need mama as much as you think all the time! When we finally got home is when the fun really began!
Seeing you grow and change and become a big sister has truly been one of the highlights of my life. Today I overheard you say, "It's okay, Baden, Mama's coming back soon. Don't worry!" while I was up fetching something, and it brought tears to my eyes. Seeing you two have a bath together gives me joy. Taking you on a walk together is amazing. Seeing you sing to him, or pat his leg, or bounce his chair - all of it fills me with awe about your incredible capacity to love and care for this new part of our lives. Anywhere we go, you love introducing him before yourself and telling people he's your brother. You've so risen to the occasion, my baby, and I couldn't be prouder. Holding my two babies gives me a feeling of completeness and joy that I just didn't even know was possible.
Aside from our entire universe shifting a little bit, we've been continuing to enjoy life, my funny little sidekick. Your daddy went back to work after a month of being home all together, and we've been moving on as a little unit of three now. You're truly a summertime baby. We're loving the summer, and fill our days with finding new water parks, running through the sprinkler, playgrounds, playing in the garden, beach time, and exploring new places. It's nice to have this time off from scheduled activities, as every day is a little bit different and we can take a slower pace getting started on our days. Lately you love running around naked in the yard, and the moment we arrive home you don't skip a beat in taking all of your clothes off! You hate wearing hats, so we've compromised on sunscreen and so far we seem to be doing okay in warding off the sun. In the last couple of weeks you've decided that you like to pee outside, and no matter how much I discourage it (and bribe you with gummy bears to pee on the potty) you tend to run outside and pee on the back lawn. I'm not really sure where you've gotten this from, but I'm thinking that maybe your brother Sandwiches has something to do with it! No matter where we go, your absolutely favourite game is "Hide and Seek." You find incredible fun in both the counting (with your eyes peeking open) part, as well as in the hiding part. Often you ask that we both hide at the same time, but that gets pretty old once we realize that no one is playing the "seeking" role. You really make me laugh, my Bowen.
My love, you challenge me daily. We're at the age of a lot of talking and even more "why's." Most everything is met with a "why" and sometimes I find myself sinking into bed at the same time as you, sure that I can't utter a single word more than I already have in the day. And it's in times like these that you turn to me and hold my face and say, "I love you, mama." That's when I have to scoop you up and hug you and just love, love, love you. My goodness, it doesn't get better than that. There are times that I feel like I will loose my mind I have to deal with another screaming fit at a grocery store, but then there are moments like the one above, and none of the rest matters. The tough parts so pale in comparison to the joyous with you. I'm raising a smart, quick, funny little ball of amazingness and there's nothing else in the world I'd rather be doing.
Bowen, the space in my heart for you gets bigger all the time. At some point I was scared that I wouldn't have enough room or love for everyone, and I couldn't have been more wrong. You taught me the ropes of this mama thing, and I couldn't be more grateful. Now you're showing me more of who you are; this wondrous and tough toddler and I'm thrilled that I'm yours and that you're mine. Let's keep doing this thing together, baby.
Happy birthday, Bowen Naomi!
I love you forever,