Friday, June 11, 2010

The day that Mr. Wiches was sad

When Toby goes off to work, as must inevitably happen at times, Sandwiches always sulks around for a few days. It’s not that he hates me or anything, it’s just that he really, really misses his daddy. I don’t pounce around and wrestle on the floor with him, I don’t clean his eye boogies as well, I don’t let him rest his jowlies on my mouth, and I don’t know how to itch him in the particular place where he feels scratchy. I hold him like a baby, feed him when he needs to be fed, let him lie on my tummy, and scratch his French Bulldog ears until he grows tired of it. But in the end, I’m his mom and not his dad. Since Toby left about 48 hours ago, Sandwiches has been looking around the house, hoping that his daddy is hiding somewhere. Even at night he’s been lurking around looking for Toby, even though I’ve told him that he’s not downstairs and will be back soon.

All of this gets me thinking about how it will be when baby is here. Will it be hard for Toby to leave his baby and will it be even harder for the baby to have her/his dad leave? Many people – from the doctors to the midwife to my friends – have inquired as to how I will handle being a single mom for some and up to half of the time. When Toby and I were first together, it was really hard for me. In a relationship, I was pretty used to having someone there always. I found it reasonable to assume that my loved one would be there for me on my birthday or when I was having a rough day or when I needed them for my amusement. With Toby, however, it was a different matter. When he’s at work, he really away. While it was hard to get used to at first, two years later I’ve discovered that I’m really used to it! So much that when there hasn’t been all that much work lately, I’ve really missed my alone time! I’ve come to enjoy our rhythm; both our time together, our time apart, and in turn – our reunion after being away from each for so long. Will the baby feel this way too? I like driving him to work, saying a tearful goodbye, and knowing that two weeks later we’ll drive there again to get him. I always say to Sandwiches, “It’s just you and me, buddy,” as we drive away, and he turns around and tries to keep looking out the back window. Will having time away from daddy make time with daddy more exciting for baby? I sure hope he sees it that way. Of course, they’ll always be able to talk on the phone and when Toby is here he’ll be able to be with baby full-time. I’m hoping that baby sees it as a good thing that his dad has such a fun and exciting and important job, which will hopefully outweigh the time we have to spend away from him.

1 comment:

  1. Today's post was just beautiful. Keep writing! Thanks!